we will not grow old

oh my, i love random road trips! last night, after a surprisingly great night at work, E, C and I decided to follow those stupid starfish signs that have popped up all over my hometown these past couple weeks. We had no idea what the hell these signs meant, but at 12:30am, it seemed like a good idea. It took us down into Baie-Ste-Anne, and then into Pointe Sapin and then magically became Kouchibouguac! We died laughing when we say the sign for the Kouchibouguac National Park ... like what the balls. The starfish signs were actually the good damn Acadian Coastal Drive and let me tell you how NOT impressed we were. haha. At least we got a good scare, went on a little adventure and saw a fox and a moose!

hanging on too long

each day, you occupy less and less of my mind

urgh

Lately, something has been wrong inside. I'm not sure what it is, but my body doesn't feel right. Something is off. I like to think I know my body well, and it's different. A normal 20-year-old shouldn't have to nap in order to get through the day. I shouldn't be tired all the time, regardless of how much sleep I get. I shouldn't be moody, grouchy or snappy for no reason. I just wish the hospital will call so I can go for some fricking blood work and hopefully they'll find something, anything, a reason for all this craziness.

It's 1am and I can't sleep.

I just want my body back!

adele

won't someone give me the chance?

covered

I first heard 'Good Morning Starshine' while watching the movie 'Hair' and really liked it, but I've recently stumbled across Serena Ryder's version of the song and it makes me like the song even more. This movie reminds me of him, just because it's one of his favorite movies.

It's Matt's birthday next weekend, and I really want to go to Halifax to see him but I don't really want to see him. And I can't believe that after so many months, I'm still not completely over it. It's kind of sad. I mean, I'm over what happened, I'm over wanting a relationship, but I don't think I could handle seeing him with someone else. Maybe I just like to think I'm over it. Although I don't know why I wouldn't be, I mean we've hardly talked since June except for occassionally on facebook but I don't know. Urgh, I hate talking about him all the time and there's things I want to say, but can't even bring myself to type the words.

Life throws you curveballs sometimes and I wish this was one I knew how to handle, and throw right back. Maybe I just need someone new in my life. Maybe I just need a change of scenery. Who knows at this point, all I know is that I'm sick of feeling this way.

: (

I really need to focus on stupid school! Urgh, this is not working at all. I've got a paper due on Monday worth 20% and I haven't even started. I have project due the next week worth 20% and I haven't started that either, and there's way more to that. I'm kind of screwed. I just wish I liked my courses, and didn't want to blow up the school. I really just want June to get here really fast so I can move back to Ontario and then to Europe. Please dear God let my plans actually go through, pleasepleaseplease let me figure something out to get to Europe... also, I'd like a pony. kthanks!

♥B

the truth

wow, this is so my life. it's exactly what i did this morning before getting out of bed to get ready for school, hahaha

laptops make life much easier, if you ask me. I go everywhere and do everything with mine in my house! I listen to music on my laptop while showering, creep people on facebook while in bed, look up cheats for the wii in the living room, talk to people on MSN while cooking in the kitchen, I'm a huge wireless whore. I would die without it. Well, yes. yes I would.

speaking of ....

speaking of starting a new eating habit, this is my horoscope for today:

what are the chances?

Realizations

I had a dentist appointment yesterday and usually they are my favorite types of appointments, but not this time. The amount of cavities that I have, is so disgusting and embarrassing that I'm forced to rethink my eating/drinking habits and how they affect my teeth. For example, did you know that if you put a penny in a glass of pop for a week, the penny will completely dissolve? I'm going to be conducting an experiment and taking daily pictures to see if this is actually true, but even just the dentist telling me that was enough to spook the crap out of me. She also mentioned that orange juice, which is one of my favorite juice drinks, is not good for teeth because of the large amounts of citric acid. Candy, which you know clearly, is not good for teeth either and for me, it's the mints at work because I usually snack away at them my whole shift. Although last night, I didn't have any pop or mints. I'm quite proud, haha, it doesn't take much.

I'm really hope to keep up with this whole diet change, as it will make me healthier anyway and I still have some weight to lose before spring break ... Cuba baby!

That's another thing, : (
I really want to go to Cuba with my friends, but I also really want the new Macbook that just came out. They're roughly around the same price so I know that I can not get both. I want both, but financially, that's not realistic. Althoughhhh, I did just start waiting on tables last night, and that means more money will be coming to me ... but $1500 before the end of February is a lot of money and a lot of waiting tables, haha.

♥B

oscar

Holy crap.
I'm some cranky this morning.

I was doing that stupid HR project, and I don't feel like I got anything done. Oh well.

I also had a little convo with Chris last night. It gets easier to talk to him, but I did have a slight anxiety attack afterwards. I really want to be friends with him, I'm just not sure how long it will be.

And effword. I just got my HR midterm back, and I got a freaking 67%! FUCK. Whatever, it's a pass. I'm over it.

♥B

still shocked.

I really don't get it.

An election was called.
People wanted change.
Millions of dollars were spent promoting change.
And what do we get?
Another Conservative minority.

I really just don't understand how Canadians see that Stephen Harper is good for us. I understand that in some ridings, people vote for the candidate and not the party but in the end, you're voting for the party... did that not come into ANY consideration? Stephen Harper has been described as the Canadian George Bush. WHY IS THIS MAN BACK IN POWER?

I'm so disgusted right now.

i wish

'I wish I was little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a [guy] who looked good
I would call [him]
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a '64 Impala'

I'm so hood.

and also so behind in school work.
eff me.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

somebody's gonna cry tonight

I can't wait til next summer!

I was talking to my aunt last night and things at her place are so great right now! Her kids are so smart and amazing, I can't wait to see them! But the main reason I can't wait to go is to see my best friend's mom. His mom is morbidly obese and she recently had surgery to have a band placed around her stomach, I can't think of the name right now but my aunt was telling me how a man in the waiting room yesterday had his band put on in July and had already lost 71 pounds! I can not wait for her to be healthy!! Of all the years I've known her, literally all 20 years of my life, she's always been obese and it's going to be so nice to see her healthy! She's one of the nicest women I've ever met, and has a hard life and she totally deserves this. My aunt put it perfectly when she said 'The surgery was expensive but if it's between a new car and your life, there's only one proper choice to make' and she's so right. I can't imagine the struggles and obstacles she goes through just doing everyday tasks carrying all that extra weight. I'm so ridiculously proud of her!

On a less happy note, I've got a STATS mid term in less than 2 hours, and I'm not sure how prepared I am. I've gone over the review questions, I've legitimately tried to study, but I can't seem to do it. Stats is just so boring, so tedious and I know it's something I'm not going to use in the real life after college that I'm so anti-work right now. Although really, I'm quite anti-all my classes right now. They all suck. I can't wait to graduate in June! It can't come fast enough!

Well, I suppose I should go look over my notes a couple more times, even though it probably will not do much good, haha.

♥, B

Bonjour class

This year of school is flying past so fast. I can not believe it's already the first week of October and next Monday is Thanksgiving. Everything is happening fast, and I feel like I'm not doing anything productive. I need a night where I just focus on school and get a least one of my papers done, and work on my HR project, and maybe do some more work on the business plan. And I definitely need to study for my entrepreneurship midterm on Thursday and FOR SURE study for my stats midterm on Friday .. considering I've done nothing in that class so far.

Today I received an email from my Research & Writing instructor and it was really nice. She expressed her worry for me missing class, sleeping in class and being overall not focused or interested in being there. And I didn't lie, I told her I don't like it. I feel like I'm in this program for the wrong reason. It shouldn't be about pleasing my parents. It shouldn't be about 'having a back-up plan' as my mom calls it. I want to be in design school. I don't understand what is so hard for my parents to grasp about that. I think I'd do really well there considering it's what I'm interested in. I actually think I'm going to take up sewing and painting. I'm not challenged in my day-to-day life and really need something with some sort of substance to keep me sane while I live here.

Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends, it's just sometimes I feel the need to be creative, or do something other than sit around, tan, eat out or watch movies. It's never a dull time with them, I just keep feeling like I need something more.

♥B

when in rome?

Here I am, on the eve of my first mid-term of the year, Intro to Human Resources, and what am I doing? Not studying, that's for sure. What am I doing, you ask? Well, I'm watching 'When in Rome' with Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen! I love their movies so much! They remind of my (clearly, quite gay) childhood and watching them at Alicia's! I figured I studied enough earlier and a quick little look over before I go to bed, and I'm praying I'll be all set.

Even if I'm not, as long as I passed I'll be happier than an fat man at an all-you-can-eat buffet!

♥B

Readers!

Okay, this is just a little quickie update before I start getting ready for work, but

yay!

I have readers!! I'm really excited actually! That must mean I'm interesting enough that people wanna know more. I was really contemplating giving this whole blogging thing up but I'm more encouraged to write more! Those two anonymous posters means that maybe there are others, who just didn't comment ... which makes me excited and scared. I love it!

I'll try to get some more blogs up soon : )
♥B

hmmm..

I feel like I should be blogging about things.
Not just 'school sucks' 'i hate this town' and stuff like that.

I feel like there's important issues to blog about and that my insight would/could be valuable .. even though no one reads this blog, haha.

(As a little side note, if you read this, could you leave a little anonymous comment letting me know, just so I know I'm not blogging for the little elves inside this shittastic laptop)

So let's see what's in the news today!

• Debates - Canadian: Okay, I watched about 10 minutes of it and the agression and childish feeling I got from the whole thing was unreal. They were arguing like children. And poor Mr. Harper was getting the shit end of the deal .. Which he should because he sucks as Prime Minister and we definitely need a change. I'll refrain from posting my political views in lue of avioding arugments ... just know that I'm very anti-conservative and will not be voting that way.
  - American: I didn't watch this debate but I follow twitter and read the news enough to know that Sarah Palin is a moron and should not be VP. And secondly, after reading the news about the views and opinions of John McCain, I truely believe that he should not be President. I really hope to God that he doesn't get elected into office. The US economy is already fucked because of Republicans. There needs to be a change everywhere.
• Global Warming - No one can tell me that global warming is not in effect, and that we should not be worried about it. This is such a big deal right now, I do not understand why more is not being done. There are websites after websites letting people know how they can make a difference and most of the time, it saves us money! Why would you not want to take two seconds to unplug things when you're not using them? Your power bills will thank you, I promise! There are so many simple things you can do to help save more energy and therefore do your part in saving our planet. It's the only one we've got people, let's take care of it.

And I think that's all for today. I started thinking about talking about giving blood and how I'm unable to now, and a couple other things but I realized I would just be ranting and freaking out and just thinking about that right now is almost giving me an anxiety attack .. aka, not fun.

So, until next time ... leave me a comment if you read!
♥B

ik vond een familie!

Hey guys!

Remember how I said I wanted to au pair in Europe?!
WELL!
I think I might have found a family for July 2009! It's very early to tell but we've been emailing back and forth and I really hope this happens! The family seems very sweet with two young children and they're from the Netherlands! COULD YOU IMAGINE?!

I'm so excited, I really hope this au pair thing works out!!

: )