I still can't believe that it's been a month. It's amazing what one month can do. I miss him more and more everyday and still feel like I'm going to get a random text message from him saying 'HEY ASSHOLE, WHERE ARE YOU!'. But I'm coming to realization that it's not going to happen. I don't want to believe it's real, but I know that I have to. Today is a celebration of the life he lived. Everyday is a celebration of the life I've been so blessed to continue living.
In celebration of this, I've done something proactive in my life. I decided to facebook message the mom of a former best friend. This woman was like a second mother to me in high school, and sometimes was there to listen more than my real mom. Their whole family was like my second family and they're home was a home away from home. I can't lie and say I don't miss it. I miss what we used to be and I know that things won't go back that way. But none the less, I decided to facebook message her, just to tell her that I miss her and that I'd like to get together and catch up. So much as changed in my life since last year and I'm sure so much has happened in hers.
I don't know what I want out of messaging her. I just felt like it was the right thing to do. As I said to her 'If I were to die tomorrow, I don't want to go with grudges or whatever'. I just want to know that I've done what I can for who I can and tried my best.